mikeblac

Stephan's video diary: Placebo summer 2009 part XI (1 of 2) online now!!

http://www.placeboworld.co.uk/blog.php

enjoy!

wow- so last night was fun, or so I've heard considering I dont remember anything. I love drinking, but why can't I stop myself from overdoing? Whatever the reason, I need to do that less. "Ive even been there once or twice... more."
I lost my camera, which will hopefully turn up, but Ive stopped caring about stuff like that like I used to. Waste of mental space. Instead, I focus on humorous contemplation and the majestic world of placebo.
Alex Boland went as Siouxie, which was fuckin amazing. I looked really parisian, with a black dress, short black hair, and a silver beret. If only I had the fucking pictures lol
oh well- its a beautiful day and I have virtually no homework. I should focus on the positive, right???
Im ganna go take a shower, check the wilder desk for my camera, have dinner with alex boland, and then shoot myself in the face. well, maybe not, we'll see how my hair holds up after dinner ;)

so drag ball is tonight, and I'm wearing a wig as I post. Break was full of debauchery of all sorts, some of which was fun and some of which was profoundly unwise. Word to the brave- don't take four pills of e before an eight hour flight. Unless you like your brain and inner ears feeling like they're about to explode.
but that said, I'm back at Oberlin and back in my element. I wonder why I can function so much better here? Perhaps the lack of temptation, or the lower standards of dress. or both.
I hope tonight will be fun, but I see no reason why it shouldnt be. Unless I'm having a bad hair (wig) day. Its amazing how much of my self-esteem stems from my hair. Well, I suppose feeling confident requires high self-esteem, which requires having good hair.
My dress is HOT, as are my boots. I might have a boob situation, but there is plenty of time to resolve that before the ball.

No matter what people tell you about time flying, a year is a long time. If I think back to my year-ago self, with his long emo hair and moody disposition, I don't even recognize that person. What's changed? I'd like to think I've become a little wiser in the past 365.5 days, not to mention more honest, stable, and pure. But how do I know? If my year-from-now self were looking back at who I am now, would be be laughing at my nievite the same way I'm laughing at who I was last year? The cold hard truth is that there is never any way to know. Our perceptions are limited to the present and skewed hindsight. So why not make the best of the present and fuck whatever your future self might say. After all, he needs you in order to come into fruition. Without you, he's nothing.

Finally. My 4 live DVDs came, and they are all excellent quality. my life is complete. and i will never be bored again. wait... i still need more vodka. 

so I was all excited this morning to go to breakfast at the feve with Elisa and Tim Hall. I get there... neither of them are there. So I figure... its daylight savings time... they must have forgotten to change their clocks. but no. i call Elisa, and apparently, we were supposed to meet last night at 10:45, not this morning at 10:45. So at first Im blaming myself, but then I remember distinctly saying "see you tomorrow" on the phone to Elisa. And, if she had bothered to call me and ask where I was last night, I would have gone and saved myself a shitty morning.
boo.angry.boo.

Peter Weiss is sick. He's listening to rap. and talking about it. with Alex Boland. and I'm supplying the vodka. How is that fair? It's not.

oh how I love my dependable dinners with Alex Boland. always a treat to hear about the events of his neurotic and beautifully predictable life. if only I could really see the workings of his brain. but I'll settle for dinnertime conversation. talking at each other, yet the words always sink in. Dinner with Alex Boland makes me happy. It's true. 

Fuck me, I have a livejournal. But my therapist says I need to find new ways of expressing myself besides through drunken boasts. So here goes- but I dont have any expectations. In fact, I'd be surprised if any of my posts will be coherent in the least. If I have a thought, I will express it, and assume no responsibility for the reprocussions.
Today I am trying to conquer boredom head on. The hours ahead are ominous, yet strangely endeering, for I know that something will happen. It could be an urge to jack off, a useless epiphony (such as how to spell the word epifany), or a nap. Either way, I will have conquered boredom. Sort of.